


My Loss Your Gain

by JeromeSankara



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Contracts, Infant Death, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Rape, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-03 16:09:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8720242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeromeSankara/pseuds/JeromeSankara
Summary: Before the adventures of Sebastian and Ciel Phantomhive, before the capture of the young lord, and before the fire that ravaged the estate, there is a dark secret within the walls of the manor, to Sebastian being there before the beginning. As Rachel and Vincent Phantomhive have difficulties in producing an heir, a simple contract turns into a nightmare even a demon can't stand.





	1. Prologue

"I do not recall asking for this specific blend of tea, Sebastian."

"My apologies, my lord."

The words stung like acid every time he was forced to say them, even as his head bowed in wishing for forgiveness. My lord, my master, they all made his throat burn like fire... The words did not belong from Ciel's mouth, nor from any mouth in that matter. It had been centuries of being called nothing more than a servant, or in Ciel's 'special' case, a dog.

He was a demon. One of the finest in hell itself.

Yet now here he was, stooped to the last person he expected to be staring at, with dark blue eyes mirroring so closely to anothers... Ones that had scorned into his body without a hint of softness. As a demon, he was use to the looks, but that did not mean they were wanted. Especially not from the boy that sat in front of him, a small cup of tea against his lips for another moment more before he felt the hot water drench against his black hair. Damn him.

"...What would the earl like to drink instead?" Sebastian asked, his head still bowed, staring at droplets of tea that dropped down from the tips of his stunning black hair. They touched the carpet, something else he would have to clean at his command. But he could already figure out just why the young master was just so moody today... it was because it was a special day tomorrow. A day that Sebastian knew in his heart, no matter how many thorns dug and clung into him from such a day...

It would be Ciel's birthday, turning fifteen.

The boy was growing, though it had no effect on his attitude at all. He still acted the same as his father... Pompous, disrespectful, arrogant... Yet, there were still the softer sides. Ones that obviously were not in play now, not as Ciel scoffed that Sebastian had spoiled his wish for tea. Instead the boy tossed the cup of tea at him, which Sebastian caught without fail.

"What is with you today. You nearly burnt my breakfast, the morning tea was weak, and you let Finnian set fire to the garden."

An answer nearly rushed from his lips, though he would not let it pass. No, he had promised himself that he would never tell the young master... The scars over his heart needed to fade, even as he was forced to be a servant to this boy. A butler to the child of Vincent Phantomhive.

But the butler let out a nearly soundless sigh, keeping his head bowed to not allow the boy to see the flickers of emotions that touched his crimson gaze. "There is nothing wrong, my lord. We are simply trying our best to prepare of the festivities tomorrow."

And to heal our hearts from the pains that happened on that same day.

* * *

_Many of us do not known our own past_

_They are shrouded in mystery, diving through lies and deception_

_Though the one that holds the truth in his heart many times has been forced to keep it quiet_

_It is not for the others that it affects, not to make things better for everyone else, but to hold the shreds of dignity he still retains_

_One man's gain is another's loss, and Sebastian knows that more than anyone_

_He lost to the one he loved_


	2. A Chance Encounter

"I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am, but there is unfortunately nothing I can do."

The soft sob that followed was the only other sound allowed in the room, everything else being draped in silence. Even as the doctor worked to dispose of the bloodied rags and closed up his bag, it hardly made a sound to overcome the sobs. Arms tightened around the woman that he held so dearly to his chest, as if he could protect her from the pain that had been brought to them. But even he couldn't protect his family from everything...

Whispers of love and compassion fell onto deaf ears as her shoulders trembled with grief, clutching to her stained blouse as if there would be a way to prove that none of this was real. They had been doing everything right... Every doctor visit, every precaution that they took, but still... They still were left with nothing, back at the beginning but with their dying hope being snuffed out for good.

The older butler quietly led away the doctor as he quietly handed off some medicine and leaving detailed instructions on a piece of paper, knowing that there was no way they would listen to him at this point. The butler nodded, escorting the doctor out of the master bedroom to give privacy to his master and lady. Even with being alone, it did nothing to soothe the two as they sat on the bed, their voices becoming hushed to the deadly silence that overtook them.

Tears continued to drip onto his nightshirt, and he was aware of the soft pitter patter of rain against the window that he hadn't noticed before. There had been too much else to distract him, but now in the silence, he became deathly aware of everything that surrounded them. Blankets spotted with blood had been tossed into the corner to be disposed of later. The breakfast that Tanaka had brought them had been practically thrown onto the floor, spilling lovely pastries and tea across the now stained carpet. The bathroom door remained hauntingly open, but he refused to meet the mess that awaited for the maid to clean once she was allowed into their room again.

Everything had happened too fast, a peaceful morning now corrupted and they weren't even to be comforted with the reason why.

Sometimes it just... happens. Sometimes there isn't an explanation and nature decides that it just wasn't... meant to be.

He was tired of that answer, exhausted of those words being repeated to them over and over again. Not once had they allowed that to detour them from trying, and they had been getting so close... But no, never again. He wouldn't dare allow the woman in his arms to feel this loss again. She was practically a shell of her former self at this point, and the thought of this happening again would shatter her delicate sanity.

He didn't know how long he sat there, holding his wife as she cried bitterly in his arms, sometimes trying to form words only for him to quietly hush her, telling her to rest. The soft sound of the rain managed to distract him now and then, listening to the rhythmic taps as if the world was crying with her. But it wasn't long before she had finally grown quiet, her weight limp against his protective grasp. She finally was allowing herself to rest...

It was with gentle hands that he rested her down onto the bed, trying his best to surround her aching body with pillows and only the softest of blankets to cradle her body. He wanted desperately to change her into something clean and comfortable, but her hands remained twisted into her blouse, refusing to allow the situation to become real to her again. But he couldn't stay to watch her suffer any longer... He feared that he may lose his own composed sanity if he remained surrounded by the tears, the blood, the mess...

Tanaka barely was allowed inside the door before curt words were spoken to him. "Ready the carriage. I will be going out to London." Anything to get away from the truth just a little longer.

* * *

 

The rain slicked the usually fluffed hair to his head, almost as if he was nothing more than a newborn kitten awaiting to be groomed. It beat against his dark overcoat, probably soaking it beyond repair at this point, but none of that mattered as the crimson eyes stared to the darkened sky. Eagerness was pawing at his body, nudging him along the empty London brick road. It was a calling that he hadn't felt in a long time, wetting his appetite to what he was hoping to be a new contract. It had been many decades, even centuries, since his interest had been peaked in such a way.

For it to happen during such a horrid storm did give him a bit of human curiosity. Would his newest contract be a plea for his life to not end in a horrific accident, to gain vengeance against an attacker, or was he getting ahead of himself? Most likely the latter. The demon had a tendency to fantasize what mortals would find worthy of trading away their soul. All he did know was that he must simply wait right here, in this spot, and his prey would walk straight into his hands.

The soft clopping of hooves drove his attention to behind him, yet he didn't need to turn. A smirk graced his face as he continued to look to the dark sky, thunder booming in the distance. Yes, this was the soul he wanted... The flavor already was beginning to wash over him even from so far away, and it took all the control he could muster to keep from salivating.

Only once he heard the voice of a man did he finally turn, all his devilish expression vanishing into one of innocence and confusion, maybe even timidness. If he appeared as a beast now, it would only scare him away, even if it left a burning hole in his gut to appear so fragile, even to the point that he shivered inside his drenched overcoat. His mind was already spinning up a tale as he saw the man jump out of the door of the carriage even while it still moved, removing his own coat as if he would try to shield the wandering stranger with it.

Words poured from his lips, a mixture of accusations of insanity and questions to who he was, but all the man did was stare back into the hazel eyes as he continuously shivered, growing worse almost by the moment. He must be doing a better job than he expected as the man tugged onto his arm, nearly frantically as if one more moment in this horrid rain would drown him. Having to look weak in front of a mortal may be humiliating, but it was also curious to see how each reacted to the presence of injury. Some simply ignored, others threw themselves over someone they can tend to. It appeared that his new master was the latter...

But what could this man so desperately need that he would be giving away his soul for aid? It was the only thought that managed to bring a shadow of a smirk to the devil as he was soon shielded away from the pouring rain and ushered into the carriage, and it wasn't more than a few moments that the man had ordered the driver to turn around and return home.

All he knew was that this may be quite an entertaining hunt if it was to start out this strangely... But the devil would be patient for this meal. It still lacked the proper flavor to perfect it and truly make it a meal worthy of a demon of his stature. All he had to do was wait for him to be called upon by this man...

Just wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first Black Butler piece and the first piece that I am completely writing fresh on AO3, so it may take longer for updates on this piece. I hope that I can keep you all entertained~ Thank you for trusting me to give you a story you all deserve.


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